Do your best YOU and freaking own it

March to the beat of your own drummer, folks. Don't be a lemming and follow the crowd so strictly. Do your best YOU and freaking own it. It shows you're truly an original. That you have a backbone and you have a voice that doesn't say, "Yep... I'm an original. Just like all the rest."

Advice to some of the middle aged ladies out there: Feathers in your hair? Been there; done that. *30 years ago*. The outrageous ad infinitum fad jumped the shark when we saw Granny sporting a $30 rooster feather that costs $3.00 at the bait and tackle shop.

Usually what these people detest nowadays, they will embrace in 20 - 30 years. So wear your favorite things NOW. Develop your personality the way that's most comfortable for you.

Don't change for everyone else and ask for everyone's advice. If you've always liked your style or that hairstyle that some say looks outdated or say that the color isn't right for someone your age, or anything to derail your best YOU... thank them for their advice and explain that you'd rather go for what makes you feel best.

xoxo

I was compelled to hold forth today on something I wish the global community could work on a little more. We'd ALL be happier.

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I don't see what's so gay about...

Really? Am I the only one who's mystified about the deification of Hugh Jackman?

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The Big Strawberry Rip-Off

The Big Strawberry Rip-Off

I'm mad as hell at strawberries and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Just because I buy my strawberries off the back of a truck and the guy, smiling, tells me "these came all the way from South Carolina" doesn't mean they're going to taste like strawberries should taste.

Just because I buy strawberries when they're a beautiful shade of red also doesn't mean jack.

I'm sick of being ripped off buying strawberries this year but I have to take part of the blame as a consumer because I should be more savvy and pro-active.

I should NOT be buying strawberries in February, March, April, and May.

I know they've been gassified and hydroponicked and it really pisses me off that strawberry growers are allowed to deceive the consumer on such a scale each year.

I yearn for a time when a red strawberry meant that it was ripe and tasted sweet. Now they are hard and sour but you can't tell by looking at the packaging.

And question-- why are they the only fruit that's locked up like a dvd?

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Life Without Bush

The Bumbling One has left the building. The banal demon has been forcibly sucked back into the horror-movie canister from whence he escaped eight years ago, and reburied in the back yard of your darkest Ann Coulter nightmare. Dubya, W, Shrub, the Decider, Chimp, Junior, Boy King, Smirk, he ambles no longer across the stage of our collective outrage. The easy punch line is no more.

--Life Without Bush, Mark Morford

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The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla

The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla
by: Dick Cavett

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing. Three out of these five implements — answering machine, fax machine, printer, phone and electric can-opener — all dropped dead on me in the past few days.

Now something has gone wrong with all three television sets. They will only get Sarah Palin.

I can play a kind of Alaskan roulette. Any random channel clicked on by the remote brings up that eager face, with its continuing assaults on the English Lang.

There she is with Larry and Matt and just about everyone else but Dr. Phil (so far). If she is not yet on “Judge Judy,” I suspect it can’t be for lack of trying.

What have we done to deserve this, this media blitz that the astute Andrea Mitchell has labeled “The Victory Tour”?

I suppose it will be recorded as among political history’s ironies that Palin was brought in to help John McCain. I can’t blame feminists who might draw amusement from the fact that a woman managed to both cripple the male she was supposed to help while gleaning an almost Elvis-sized following for herself. Mac loses, Sarah wins big-time was the gist of headlines.

I feel a little sorry for John. He aimed low and missed.

What will ambitious politicos learn from this? That frayed syntax, bungled grammar and run-on sentences that ramble on long after thought has given out completely are a candidate’s valuable traits?

And how much more of all that lies in our future if God points her to those open-a-crack doors she refers to? The ones she resolves to splinter and bulldoze her way through upon glimpsing the opportunities, revealed from on high.

What on earth are our underpaid teachers, laboring in the vineyards of education, supposed to tell students about the following sentence, committed by the serial syntax-killer from Wasilla High and gleaned by my colleague Maureen Dowd for preservation for those who ask, “How was it she talked?”

My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaska’s investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars.

And, she concluded, “never, ever did I talk about, well, gee, is it a country or a continent, I just don’t know about this issue.”

It’s admittedly a rare gift to produce a paragraph in which whole clumps of words could be removed without noticeably affecting the sense, if any.

(A cynic might wonder if Wasilla High School’s English and geography departments are draped in black.)

(How many contradictory and lying answers about The Empress’s New Clothes have you collected? I’ve got, so far, only four. Your additional ones welcome.)

Matt Lauer asked her about her daughter’s pregnancy and what went into the decision about how to handle it. Her "answer" did not contain the words "daughter," "pregnancy," "what to do about it" or, in fact, any two consecutive words related to Lauer’s query. [Read More »]

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From the Desk of Rude Pundit

from the Rude Pundit...

Poor Joe the Plumber Is Too Dumb to Just Shut the Fuck Up

It also means, for anyone paying attention, who gives a shit what Wurzelbacher thinks? He's an obvious idiot, not, as Hannity said, offering a manly hand job, "You're the heart and soul swinging that wrench, you're the heart and soul of what makes this country great."

No, actually Wurzelbacher is what makes this country a fucking laughingstock and a pathetic inbred cousin of what it could be. There's plenty of working class people who actually do understand how taxation and social safety nets work. They also know that "spreading the wealth," unlike what John McCain says, is what once made America great.

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Rude Pundit, you're a pure joy.

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David Sedaris in the New Yorker

UNDECIDED

by David Sedaris

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

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You're so adorable, David.

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We Are Not Alone

We are not alone.

Hear Astronaut Edgar Mitchell talk about his UFO experiences and what he knows for certain on this clip on YouTube.

There's no doubting his credibility. When will the US begin releasing the files on UFO visits? Mitchell says that several countries have started opening up their files-- Belgiam, Mexico, French, Brazil...

Does each President gets briefed on the truth about UFOs when they come into office or is NASA just putting out a blanket denial? Can you imagine Bush breaking that news to the nation?

video (9:15) | link

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Huckabee Jokes About Obama

Is Huckabee just so damn stupid that he can no longer keep his narrow views hidden when speaking in front of a televised audience?

It's beyond offensive that these vulgar slights roll off his tongue so effortlessly.

It's usually not so 'in your face' from a skilled politician. Is this his way of trying to be likable and funny to the other squares?

"During a speech before the National Rifle Association convention Friday afternoon in Louisville, Kentucky, former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee — who has endorsed presumptive GOP nominee John McCain — joked that an unexpected offstage noise was Democrat Barack Obama looking to avoid a gunman," CNN Associate Political Editor Rebecca Sinderbrand reports at the cable network's Political Ticker.

"That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he's getting ready to speak," said the former Arkansas governor, to audience laughter. "Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor."

via | video

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Memo To Petraeus

Memo To Petraeus
by Dick Cavett

On Petraeus: Its rule: never use a short word where a longer one will do. It must be meant to convey some misguided sense of “learnedness” and “scholasticism” — possibly even that dread thing, “intellectualism” — to their talk. Sorry, I mean their “articulation.”

No crook ever gets out of the car. A “perpetrator exits the vehicle.” (Does any cop say to his wife at dinner, “Honey, I stubbed my toe today as I exited our vehicle”?) No “man” or “woman” is present in Copspeak. They are replaced by that five-syllable, leaden ingot, the “individual.” The other day, there issued from a fire chief’s mouth, “It contributed to the obfuscation of what eventually eventuated.” This from a guy who looked like he talked, in real life, like Rocky Balboa. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

What would the general be forced to say if it weren’t for the icky, precious-sounding “challenge” that he leans so heavily on? That politically correct term, which was created so that folks who are legally blind, deaf, clumsy, crippled, impotent, tremor-ridden, stupid, addicted or villainously ugly are really none of those unhappy things at all. They are merely challenged. (Are these euphemisms supposed to make them feel better?) And no one need be unlucky enough to be dead or hideously wounded anymore. Those unfortunates are merely “casualties” — a sort of restful-sounding word.

I have a friend who would like the opportunity to say to our distinguished warrior, “General Petraeus, my son was killed in one of your challenges.”

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Bone Dance: A Late Epiphany at the New York Times

Bone Dance: A Late Epiphany at the New York Times

This is the sound of a very large bone, lodged for a very long time, being hocked up at last:

"It is time for the United States to leave Iraq, without any more delay than the Pentagon needs to organize an orderly exit." -- the New York Times, July 8, 2007.

Only four years -- and hundreds of thousands of dead bodies -- too late, of course. And it might have been nice if the Times editorialists had noted the very large part their own paper played in what they now call -- they now call -- "this unnecessary invasion."

[Read More from writer Chris Floyd]

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What does Al know that we don't?

What does Al know that we don't? by Steven Weber

Why, given the opportunity that's been presented to him on a silver Prius, is this man not going to run for (and win) the presidency of the United States? If ever there was a clarion call to be answered it is this one: heed the will of the majority of the people, take back the yoke Bush and his cracked team of highjackers have used to steer the country into the ground and pull the ship skyward again.

Why, after his self-imposed banishment to the wilderness (suburbia), where he along with every other sentient being has observed the feckless evil of the current executive tenant and his Neo-posse, does he demur? Could he know that any run at the office would surely turn out to be a hollow chrysalis which, after gestation, would not incubate a butterfly but more likely belch forth a wingless, blind slug; that an educated, experienced, wise adult can lead more effectively and make more of a difference by being an activist/celebrity and riding a wave of pop-culture popularity, rather than relying upon the rusted and jury-rigged contraption quaintly referred to as the electoral process?

Maybe Al knows that America (to paraphrase Paddy Chayefsky) is a dying giant, that perhaps she is dead already. And the "business of government" is merely the scramble of organisms over the carcass's wan, flaking skin; any rumbles from within aren't the sounds of legislators engaged in constructive debate but the gasses issuing from the anuses of the bacteria digesting the sad corpse's putrefying innards. Are we destined to have the presidency so finally and utterly mediocritized that it no longer holds any attraction for the most qualified person in recent memory who would imbue it with the honor and prestige it -- and we -- deserve?

Well then, that's what Al must know. Because only that kind of realization would prevent him from participating. He says that politics no longer holds any allure for him. And really, why should it? He won an Oscar, for chrissakes. He's raised awareness of a real issue that actually effects us all in a way that makes him truly a uniter -- not a divider. He is the world's activist uncle. George Bush standing in front of his American Enterprise Institute portable backdrop can barely scrape up a strangulated hosanna from his meticulously vetted and dwindling audiences.

Having only once appropriated the toxic phrase "cut and run" to describe the result of catching my fishnet stockings on a partially extruded staple embedded in the side of a bed post (A long, dull story. Forget I mentioned it.) I am forced to resurrect it once again. It's an extremely ugly phrase, wielded by extremely ugly people but I will use it as that mediocre apparatchik/harridan Jean Schmidt never intended: to provoke the discouraged conscience of the marginalized true-patriot who would ably restore what has been so ignobly destroyed. On second thought, it's so shallow and inflammatory that I can't stand to apply it even in a good cause. There has to be some other way to convince this man of his worth. May be we need to convince him of our worth?

Because this country, for all its gaudy fascinations, for all its daily desperation to fend off reality by consuming goods from China as though they were oxygen atoms is also a country of souls betrayed by their loyalty to the idea of America the beautiful, the judicious and the brave. And it is not the loyalty itself that is at issue but those whom we have entrusted with it. A presidential election is not a parlor game, though it may resemble one far too closely. It is as close to being a sacred exercise as this secular republic asks of its congregants. We require a real leader now, one with a true understanding of the importance of why this country must function correctly and efficiently. We and the world depend on it. So here's your hat. And there's the ring. America needs you need to lead us now more than ever.

That's what we know that Al doesn't.

A wee bit pretentious, but effective.

link

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Iraq Is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac

Frank Rich, NYTimes.com article, 4/22/07

President Bush has skipped the funerals of the troops he sent to Iraq. He took his sweet time to get to Katrina-devastated New Orleans. But last week he raced to Virginia Tech with an alacrity not seen since he hustled from Crawford to Washington to sign a bill interfering in Terri Schiavo's end-of-life medical care.

Mr. Bush assumes the role of mourner in chief on a selective basis, and, as usual with the decider, the decisive factor is politics. Let Walter Reed erupt in scandal, and he'll take six weeks to show his face - and on a Friday at that, to hide the story in the Saturday papers. The heinous slaughter in Blacksburg, Va., by contrast, was a rare opportunity for him to ostentatiously feel the pain of families whose suffering cannot be blamed on the administration.

Tell it like it is, Frank.

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Ethics Crusade

We're riding a big ol' bus to the Ethics Crusade. It's tried to gather steam before but eventually petered out. It later got a bump in popularity when Janet Jackson accidentally bared her breast on worldwide television and the family values people wanted everyone involved punished severely.

The Don Imus controversy has so many layers. People are talking about it everywhere you go; you can't escape it by turning off your television. You hear it at the doctor's office, at work, in the market. It's Free Speech vs racist comments on tv and radio. There appears to be an audience for his misogynistic and racist remarks, but does that mean he should keep broadcasting because of Free Speech in our country?

The squeaky wheel always gets the grease. Big business is listening and fretting over profits so they bow to the pressure. Any disgusting slip of the tongue (or breast) is cause for the moral police to protest and boycott.

Will someone be making a list of targets for them to go after next? I like that they have to power to affect change but while they police the people of this nation, couldn't they use this kind of fire and motivation towards ending the war in Iraq?

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Good Morning... ! I just returned from South Carolina and almost ran over a downed tree in front of Furman University. It wasn't quite daylight at 6:00 and it raining very hard. Luckily, a guy was in the road in a white shirt waving his arms to attract my (and others) attention so I was able to stop in time---barely. The tree covered both lanes of traffic, and I went around in the grass. I think I'm still shook up and consider myself very lucky. Later on this morning, I heard there were 3 wrecks at that same site.

If you want to support the Dixie Chicks and their right to free speech, go sign the petition.

Iraqui Body Count. Damn.

Lynn, a photog by trade, in Nova Scotia, has made a very nice template for the taking. I hope this is one of many to come.

Update on Dena: She got out of the hospital yesterday and they believe an artery was "nicked" when she underwent a biopsy last Friday. After that procedure is when her troubles began. She's very tender and they're hoping it'll heal if she takes it easy for a few days. Thank you so much for you good wishes and prayers.

Just as cartoons are the children of television's big family, I think 24-hour news programs are the daughters of TV. CNN is the first born daughter; a real southern belle. On the fast track after bursting through the glass ceiling at her Fortune 500 job, she struck out on her own and created her own company. Blue eye shadow-wearing, lip-smacking, 42 year old renewed virgin and middle sister, FOX, has just returned from her latest labia piercing. She's always gossiping and stirring up trouble in the family, doing something outrageous to attract everyone's attention. Returning from her trip to the Rainforest is the baby of the family, MSNBC. The life of the party, and Harley-riding dare-devil is always willing to take a chance. Her next adventure will include all night gambling in Monoco, and hiking with aborigines in the Outback.

Buzzflash interview with Janeane Garafalo. {seen at skippy's}


Look for peaceful vigils in your area.

Quote For Today
Measure yourself by your best moments, not by your worst. We are too prone to judge ourselves by our moments of despondency and depression.
~ Robert Johnson

And the Emmy for best director of a war for television media goes to . . . Gen. Tommy Franks.

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