Assholes of the Week

4:00 PM, 9/3/07
***Regarding the post below, Paul Krassner has apologized to Wes Clark for misrepresenting him.***

"Thanks to Comments on my Assholes of the Week #7 blog, I now add myself to one of them because I criticized General Clark for his silence about Pentagon plans to invade six other countries after Iraq, when in fact he did indeed speak out repeatedly."

link

Thanks, Paul, for admitting when you've made a mistake.



Paul Krassner's Assholes of the Week

General Wesley Clark, for waiting until recently to reveal to Amy Goodman on "Democracy Now" the following: "About ten days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, 'Sir, you've got to come in and talk to me a second.' I said, 'Well, you're too busy.' He said, 'No, no.' He says, 'We've made the decision we're going to war with Iraq.' This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, 'We're going to war with Iraq? Why?' He said, 'I don't know.' He said, 'I guess they don't know what else to do.' So I said, 'Well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to al Qaeda?' He said, 'No, no.' He says, 'There's nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.' He said, 'I guess it's like we don't know what to do about terrorists, but we've got a good military and we can take down governments.' And he said,

"I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail."

Un-fucking-believable

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Mods and Rockers Festival

Mods and Rockers Festival: Skidoo

Writer Paul Krassner shares his recollections about the 1968 acid-comedy film Skidoo directed by Otto Preminger. The movie has its first 35mm screening in Los Angeles in over 25 years on Saturday July 14 at the Mods & Rockers Film Festival in Hollywood.

Timothy Leary had a certain sense of pride about the prominent people he and his associates had introduced to the psychedelic revolution. He once told me the names of some of the folks whose lives had been changed by taking LSD. Among them: director Otto Preminger, actor Cary Grant, conservative think-tanker Herman Kahn, Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, Time magazine publishers Henry and Clare Booth Luce.

"But," Leary told me, "I consider Otto Preminger one of our failures."

...(Preminger's) Skidoo was pro-acid propaganda thinly disguised as a comedy adventure. However, LSD was not the reason that the FBI was annoyed with the film. Rather, according to Gleason's FBI files, they objected to one scene in the script where a file cabinet is stolen from an FBI building. Gleason was later approved as a special FBI contact in the entertainment business.

One of the characters in Skidoo was a Mafia chieftain named God. Screenwriter Bill Cannon had suggested Groucho Marx for the part. Preminger said it wasn't a good idea, but since they were already shooting, and that particular character was needed on the set in three days, Groucho got the job. During one scene, Preminger was screaming instructions at him.

Groucho yelled back, "Are you drunk?"

When Skidoo was released in 1968, Tim Leary saw it, and he cheerfully admitted, "I was fooled by Otto Preminger. He's much hipper than me."

Krassner's just got tons of good stories, doesn't he?

link

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saturday morning me//
tie-dyed pjs/lapquilt/black fleece hat/
oatmeal/hot white tangerine tea/
daughter away with drummer friends/
hubby flipping tv channel changer
faster than the speed of light/
so how about you?/

Web Trail

Best quote of the day--
"From the desert to the White House, there are so many asses being covered, it looks like a Christo art project." --Paul Krassner
Link

18th Cannabis Cup - November 20-24, 2005 in Amsterdam.
Link

November 10th - On November 10th, 2005, stand with the Ogoni people in remembering Ken Saro-Wiwa.

Bhagavan Das will do a live interview with Virato on Asheville's The Revolution radio this Saturday morning. Link

Ben Frost Gallery - Art as freeform popculture assault. I like it.
Link

Take revenge. Shit on a pigeon.

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Life Among the Neo-Pagans
--Paul Krassner's article on the Starwood Festival

The first event was on a weekend, attended by 185 people, with twenty presentations and a bonfire built from an old split-rail fence. This July marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of Starwood; the weeklong event drew 1,600, with 150 presentations and twenty musical and theatrical performances. I attended several workshops, including "Shamans and Drugs" by Stanley Krippner, a psychology professor at Saybrook Institute, psychic researcher and co-author of Dream Telepathy. A member of the Rainforest Action Network, he mentioned a Brazilian tribe, the Guarani, whose members have hanged themselves from endangered trees. I related my participation at an ayahuasca ceremony in Ecuador where the shaman's shrine included a sealed-beam headlight from an old Buick and a gray clamshell-like item that opens up, revealing a head of the Virgin Mary that can be used as a Jell-o mold.

[More »»] - Via [Wildhunt Weblog]

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Paul Krassner's talking about the annual Rollling Thunder memorial ride to remember America's veterans where Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force General Richard Myers was wearing a shirt emblazoned with the American flag.

"Oh, if only Abbie Hoffman could have witnessed that."

I'll say. It used to be a serious offense to wear the flag. Very serious.

In October 1968, Hoffman was arrested in Washington for wearing a shirt that resembled the design of an American flag. Authorities at the maximum-security penitentiary did their worst to harass and humiliate him. They gave him a preventive de-lousing. They took a blood sample against his will, without affording him the sterile courtesy of a disposable syringe.

In support of Abbie, everyone began wearing flags as shirts, shawls, purses, patches for their broken jeans. I've told the story here of me getting a visit from 2 official dudes at school after they heard I had flags strung up as curtains in my room. They would have arrested me if I hadn't taken the flags down.

Things sure have changed if the good General can now wear the same thing that Abbie once got arrested for.

Link

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{Hating On The US - #659}
Greenpeace activists, supporters, and volunteers around the world celebrate the coming into force of the Kyoto Protocol yesterday. This landmark UN treaty on global warming, took effect after an agonising gestation, supported by 141 nations but boycotted by the world's biggest polluter, the United States. The US pulled out in 2001 when President Bush said that Kyoto was too costly. An historic first step, to be sure, and it only requires a 5.2% reduction in emissions by 2008-2012. Obviously, the US is pandering to their polluters instead of their people. see demonstations...; 10 Arrested After Protestors Storm IPE Trading Floor.

{Literature} - A Nation Of Rebels: Why Counterculture Became Consumer Culture. Does counterculture=consumer culture? The success of viral marketing which is currently all over the place.

{Pharmaceuticals} - 2C-B. This party drug comes with disclaimer. Many so-called designer drugs fall under the umbrella term of "ecstacy" when they may be something entirely different. more...

{Art}Ronnie Wood (Rolling Stones) has a new art showing. These are much better than the older works I've seen of his. more... Particularly this Dylan painting.

{Condoms} - Musical Condoms - Different lovemaking positions determine what tune is played by the condom, which also works like a normal contraceptive.

Paul Krassner's Wrapping It For Christ -"...I'd buy other stuff to avoid being embarrassed. "I'd like a Batman comic book, and this candy bar-(whispering) and a pack of prophylactics..." more...

{Film} - Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Trailer @ Amazon

Don't squat with your spurs on.

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Dead Poet's Insobriety - Charles Bukowski died 10 years ago, at 73, but it's been hard to miss him, because he hasn't really gone away. A movie by John Dullaghan, Bukowski: Born Into This just opened Friday. Link

Daughter and Dharma - "But Daddy, she's my age!" Paul Krassner's daughter exclaims. Nice read from his weekly column, Link

My Life, by Bill Clinton - Supposed to have much policy included, and detailed US & Presidential history, but he's such an amazing storyteller I'm looking forward to the June 22nd release.


Haiku grand-prize winner:
A frog in water
doesn't feel it boil in time.
Dude, we are that frog.
Link

saturday morning me//
sipping hot coffee/
munching honeynut cheerios/
early fumblefuck foghead/
grey flannel pjs/bedhead/
sneaking up on the mirror/
Listening: Satisfied Mind - Jeff Buckley/
so how about you?/

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:: {Tuesday Morning Webtrail}
May 4, 1970 - Four Dead In Ohio - Kent State Massacre. Today is the 34th annual Commemoration events with William Rivers Pitt the Keynote speaker this afternoon. [link]

::Torture At Abu Ghraib - A "do not miss" piece in the New Yorker by Seymour Hersh about the tortured and abused Iraqi soldiers. [link]; and another link of those revolting photos for the many website visitors coming by in search of it. I'm so heartsick over their treatment and humiliation that I want to rise up against the US. How do you think the other inhabitants of the planet feel about us?

:: Paul Krassner - Gadfly of the ’60s still buzzing sounds off on Bush, Nixon and Clay Aiken. [link]

:: Love Parade and Fuck Parade - both held in Berlin; Fuck Parade is on July 5 , Love Parade is July 10. The grassroots Fuck Parade was born in 1997, in Berlin, as a counter-demonstration to the commercialization of the Love Parade and to the creeping gentrification of the neighborhoods around the center of East Berlin. I'd like to see them both.[link]

:: Mondo Man's New Millenium - [link]

:: Keith Richards, Rickie Lee Jones, Ben Harper, Jerry Lee Lewis, along with several other music notables will toast Willie Nelson's 71st birthday by performing at a concert Wednesday in Los Angeles. The USA network is expected to air the event, titled Outlaws and Angels, on May 31. [link]

:: Jagger sings for Alfie. Mick Jagger and the Eurhythmics' Dave Stewart have collaborated on three new songs and the theme music for an upcoming remake of the classic 1966 film Alfie, which stars Jude Law. [link]

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Romantic and Voluptuous, By Mark Miller
"Romantic, sensitive, sincere, caring, honest, affectionate 25-year-old non-smoking male, a Kevin Costner lookalike, with great sense of humor, Ph.D. in Business, runs own advertising agency, enjoys sports, nature, movies, theater, restaurants, dancing--seeks sincere woman for friendship and good conversation."

Dear Romantic: I nearly fainted when I read your personals ad, because it pretty much described my ideal man. So even though I'm sure you'll be overwhelmed with responses, here's mine: I'm a bright, honest, loving, considerate, vivacious, outgoing 23-year-old, blonde, voluptuous, non-smoking female, often described as a Darryl Hannah lookalike. I am independently wealthy, and love exotic travel, gourmet cooking, and passionate embraces in front of a roaring fire. I am yearning for your reply.

Dear Voluptuous: Thank you for your wonderful letter in response to my ad. Coincidentally, you described my ideal woman. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly 100% honest about myself in my ad. But your letter touched me to such a degree that I've decided to stop deluding myself and others. So even though it may cost me the loss of meeting you, here's the truth: I'm a 46-year-old Abe Vigoda lookalike, who smokes like a chimney, dropped out of high school to steal cars, still lives with my parents, and haven't the slightest idea how to function in a social situation.

Dear Romantic: I can't tell you how relieved I was to receive your refreshingly honest letter. I, too, have had it with all the artifice, the game-playing, the misrepresentation. So please allow me to revise my initial ad, as well: I'm a 52-year-old, enormously overweight woman, interested solely in my next meal. I suffer from indescribable body odor, but it doesn't bother me too much, as I spend most of my days dealing with the voices that I hear, commanding me to do the bidding of Emperor Borgar, ruler of my home planet. I am currently working, gutting fish, at Harvey's Carp-O-Rama, but it's the evening shift, so I have my days free to tend to my open sores and seventeen cats. I also like looking in people's windows while drooling. [more »]

TV Turnoff 2004 - April 19-25
What happens during a seven-day experiment in life without TV? A whole new space to think emerges. You find yourself passing time in ways you never expected. And you start to wonder: when I reach for the remote, who is really in control? View posters from previous years here. Adbusters link via ollapodrida



{Fast Links}
:: Be Here Now by Paul Krassner [link]
:: Realist
:: Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Chabon sizes up a new medium for his superhero, the Escapist. [link]

{this day in history}
April 14, 1966 -- Swiss pharmaceutical firm Sandoz discontinues production of LSD. Owsley smiles. via daily bleed

{bullshit cliché of the week} - "war footing"

I feel a sin coming on.

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