easy bake coven | since 2002

Five great reasons to buy a Hummer?
1. You've been wanting to buy much wider groceries (but have been stymied by the timid width of your Escalade)
2. You and your make-believe wife were thinking of having 11 or 12 imaginary kids
3. You're sick of always being the environment's goddamned bitch
4. You could totally put a keg back there and just drive around and shit
5. They were all out of penises (penii? --extra credit if you know the correct plural of penis without googling it)
[via: the always hysterical 5ives]

*edited to add:
Road-Hogging, Gas-Guzzling, Air-Fouling Vulgarian!
Someone left nasty little cards and a phone number on windsheilds of gas guzzlers around her town. She's posted some of her responses to the cards.

URLS Gone Wild!
Top Ten Gay Cartoon Characters
James Brown - Yikes. The crime is your nappy head.
Jammy Awards
Bush Lie Detector idea.
Or what about Bush for Janitor? Something productive for him to do after November.
Book-A-Minute. Ultra-condensed.

{haiku}
no way i can stop
smoking is my only vice
that and the whoring

I've upped my standards, now up yours.