Friday, December 17, 2004
White Knuckle Express
This is the time of year that we recovering drug and alcohol addicts will white knuckle it, hoping to sail on through the holiday stress and parties without slipping. The time of year we must steer our car away from the liquor store. This time of year it's best to keep my blinders on when I see old playmates around town; step up the pace, and hit the breeze. Drinking and drugs were used so often to deal with my normal daytoday that it's so automatic to go there. After all this time and even in my dreams.
Sometimes I find that a warm geez or an iced anything with lime still wakes me with a smile and glow. And just when I start looking for old phone numbers and feel I might be the only junkie who feels this way, someone will confide their similar urges to me.
It always helps to know I'm not alone and together we'll get through another day, without singing any tired old platitudes; without any generic stepping going on. Strong in our weakness. Life, although not nearly as lively as before, really is good.
At the end of the day I can dust off the day's demons before turning in. Tick off the times I maintained direction, overcame weakness, kept it between the ditches. And with God/Goddess willing, I'll rise to battle another day.
This is the time of year that we recovering drug and alcohol addicts will white knuckle it, hoping to sail on through the holiday stress and parties without slipping. The time of year we must steer our car away from the liquor store. This time of year it's best to keep my blinders on when I see old playmates around town; step up the pace, and hit the breeze. Drinking and drugs were used so often to deal with my normal daytoday that it's so automatic to go there. After all this time and even in my dreams.
Sometimes I find that a warm geez or an iced anything with lime still wakes me with a smile and glow. And just when I start looking for old phone numbers and feel I might be the only junkie who feels this way, someone will confide their similar urges to me.
It always helps to know I'm not alone and together we'll get through another day, without singing any tired old platitudes; without any generic stepping going on. Strong in our weakness. Life, although not nearly as lively as before, really is good.
At the end of the day I can dust off the day's demons before turning in. Tick off the times I maintained direction, overcame weakness, kept it between the ditches. And with God/Goddess willing, I'll rise to battle another day.
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